Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Holidays and such

I've been a slacker blogger lately, I know.

We had a crazy week with the Holidays and Mom and Dad B. coming home. It's been kind of a whirlwind, but its calming down.

Christmas was wonderful. We went down to Hiko and spent a few days with my family. Too bad it was snowy and cold there too. Bailee got to ride her horse, Black Beauty, ride the four wheeler and her favorite...feed the animals. She loved to go out with Grampy and feed and collect the eggs. One time he didn't wait for her, boy was he in trouble.

Santa visited Bailee before we headed down to Nevada, and brought her a cute kitchen. And the desire of her heart....a tea 'party' like McKinley's. She was so excited, I guess she didn't notice that it didn't have princess' on it. She played with it for an hour or so while we got ready and packed, and was really sad to leave. Grammy and Grampy gave her some play food to go along with it, and since we've been home she has really been having a great time cooking up some meals and treats.

We came home to a house stuffed full of people. Normally, this wouldn't bother me... but my family was passing around some kind of bug and I was sick on the way home. Not so much fun being pregnant sick and sick sick. It was like a mob trying to get down the stairs to take a shower before saying hello to anyone. I'm sorry, I was really glad to see you all.

Now everyone is gone and it's quiet around here. We've taken down the Christmas decorations and are coming to some sort of order. I have a lot to do and no inclination to do it. I do have a lot of pictures to share, but as is customary, I left my camera at my moms. So it'll have to wait another week or so.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Dreams

While I was pregnant with Bailee, most nights, I'd dream of being in high school again. It was different though because we were all married and had our kids around. Weird, I know. So with this pregnancy the dreams have returned but still more different. It actually makes me miss everyone so much. I wake up wondering about those I haven't heard from or about in years, and even those who I have seen occasionally. I've been naturally reflecting on some of the things we did and some of my favorite memories.

I have a lot. We had so much fun, and it was simple. I laugh now at a particular evening when I thought the world had ended, following and argument with someone. Or all of the times Thera, Mandi and I would rush to R-Place during lunch to get milk shakes and chicken fingers....but that's not why we really went. And on the days the certain 'bus' wasn't coming through we'd spend lunch time watching our favorite scene from "10 things I hate about you." You know, the one where Heath Ledger serenades Julia stiles on the bleachers. I think my favorite times though were our 'parties'. We would just get together, usually after ball games, and play games or watch movies, wwf on the trampoline--whatever. It was so fun. And sometimes I wish that we could have that again, only different. Like the dreams, this time would include the additions to our families.

We get to hang out with Luke's friends and I love it. They remind me of my own, but it makes me homesick. So maybe sometime it'll work out for us all to get together again sometime.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Gratitude

I have been really quite negative and depressed lately. I really really don't like being sick, and its frustrating when it gets in the way of what I want and need to be doing. I can usually handle it for a day or two, but we're going on week 5 here and I've had little relief. So I've been dwelling on that, thinking about that, whining about that. I can imagine that people may be avoiding me so they don't have to hear about it.

So yesterday as we were waiting for a meeting, a friend came in flustered, sat down and handed me this bottle of soap saying (paraphrased of course...) "I've been thinking about Elder Wirthlin's talk, Come what may and love it." I looked down and on the bottle it says "grateful hands". I thought to myself..that was a good talk, I should read it again. Then she went on to tell us some frustrating things that happened that morning. A few minutes later my friend said "Did I say Merry Christmas when I gave that to you?" I laughed and said no, you told me "Come what may and love it". While that wasn't her intended message to me, I believe it was the Lords message to me.

For our Christmas lesson next week my part is talking about Gratitude and Service. This morning I pulled out my scriptures, new era's etc. and laid in bed a while reading. I thought of so many things that I am grateful for. As I read scriptures and quotes from prophets and thought about how much the Lord loves me and has blessed me, I began feeling sorry for the negative feelings I've allowed myself to wallow in these past weeks. I also read in the New Era about forgiving yourself, and there were some great insights on that topic. So I made a resolution to focus on the things that I am grateful for instead of how sick I may be feeling. And also to forgive myself as the Lord has, for the past weeks of self pity.

I truly have much to be grateful for. Most of all for my Savior, Jesus Christ. I am so grateful for His kindness, mercy, love, teachings. I am so grateful for His Gospel and the Hope I gain from learning of him and following him. And I'm grateful for friends who, whether intentional or not, remind me what's important.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Merry Chirstmas

Merry Christmas to All,
As we get Christmas Cards in the mail, and as Christmas get closer we realize we will not be sending a Christmas Card this year, so here is our Christmas Blog Card.

At this Christmas season, we are very grateful for this last year. Bailee is 2 and continues to grow and learn everyday. She is very excited to be a big sister. She has learned so much this last year. She loved the time she spent with Grandma and Grandpa Spencer in Alamo while Traci was at Girls Camp, and is excited to see Grandma and Grandpa Bulkley next week when they get back from their mission. She loves nursery at church, and to pretend she is different people (Mickey Mouse, Dora, Cinderella, Ariel ). She loves to watch movies and seems to have a new favorite everyday.

Traci and Luke are doing mostly the same. Luke is still working at Hertz. He enjoys playing sports and doing different activities with the family in his spare time. Traci is still loving with Close To My Heart. She spends most of her day trying to keep up with Bailee.

We hope you all enjoy a very Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year. May the spirit of Christ be with you all through the year, and may we be grateful for the everlasting gift of our Savior Jesus Christ.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Bailee's Turkey!



November 17, 2008
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Thursday, December 4, 2008

Happy Birthday Luke!

Today is Luke's birthday! I hope you have a great day honey, sorry you have to work.
Luke is so amazing! I am truly blessed to have found him. He is the hardest working person I know. If there's something that needs to be done, he just does it. Never waits to see if someone else will do it.
I love that he doesn't believe that housework is my work. He is always cleaning up around the house and helping me out. I so appreciate this! Especially since I've been so sick and haven't been doing much of anything.
Luke is even doing the cooking these days, what a sweetheart I have! I love watching him with Bailee. She has him wrapped around her little finger. When she hears him coming in from work she runs to open the door. His face lights up when he sees her, and she adores him almost as much as I do.
Luke is so much fun! He never stops to worry about if someone will think he's crazy or weird. He loves life, and lives it to the fullest. He can relax and have a good time, but he knows when it's time to be serious.
Luke has taught me so much! I look up to him a ton, and try to follow the wonderful example he is to us. I'm so grateful to be married to him, and that he is my very best friend.




We love you daddy!!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

No pictures today. I don't want to go find the camera.....

So in case you haven't noticed the little widget to the right, we are expecting a new baby. Bailee knows she's going to be a big sister, but I don't think she really knows what that means. Every once in awhile she'll tell us she has a big sister in her tummy. She wants a 'girl' baby and even knows the name we like. Funny girl.

My parents and 2 youngest sisters are in New York this week. They are having a blast, and it's fun hearing about all the cool stuff they are doing. They sent a picture of the Statue of Liberty to our cell phone and when I showed Bailee she said "OOOO Kansas!" Kansas?? Not sure where she got that from. The fam was on the Today show this morning, so we taped it to show Luke. I paused it and asked Bailee to come and see. She looked at it and said...insert gasp "Grammy and Grammpy". She thought it was so funny.

We painted the downstairs room....well, it was mostly Luke....and we're getting ready to move some furniture around. Mom and Dad B. will be home in just under 3 weeks. I can't believe it! We are super excited.

I have been soooooo sick. I won't lie, it's been miserable. I'm open to any suggestions to help fight the nausea. I'm also pretty emotional, though I try and hide it. I am getting a little frustrated. People are going to ask me how I'm feeling, and I'm not going to tell them great when I feel like crawling in a hole. So if you don't really want to know, don't ask. And then there's the guilt trip. I know that there are people who have a really hard time getting pregnant or have never had that chance. I'm sorry, I really am. And I wish that wasn't your trial. I wish that everyone who wanted to have children could. I do feel blessed to have a beautiful daughter, and to be pregnant once again. But no one could possibly be throwing up round the clock while being happy and positive all of the time. It sucks big time, and while I am happy to be having another baby, I'm not happy to be this sick. This must be my trial. I'll learn to manage it.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Twilight

I stole these pictures from Katie! Right before the movie started, with our Vampire teeth in...

(Katie, Me, Alyssa)


Katie and I after the movie, still smiling. Even at 2 in the morning.

Monday, November 24, 2008

November

So with all of the exciting stuff going on this month....These are the only pics I've taken. Oh wait, I actually just remembered there are a few still on my camera. But very few. Shocking, I know. So this is a cute card that I made for one of the YW in my ward. I love how it turned out. For detailed instructions...click here. While your there, check out the other fun things Jeanette had posted about.

Bailee and Daddy raking up the leaves.

And the party favors I made for the Twilight Premier. There were 220. And this was before I decided to print and staple a little flyer to them. But it was worth it. Everyone seemed to love them.

Speaking of Twilight, I did really love the movie. I went in with pretty low expectations though, I knew it could never live up to the book. But I think they did a great job. Rob P. playing Edward even grew on me. I think all of the parts were portrayed well. Although Charlie was nothing like I pictured. So I'd give it an 8. And I'm going to go read it again.

Next up, Thanksgiving! I won't lie, I've been drooling thinking about the hot mashed potatoes, rolls, turkey, gravy, olives, hmmmmm. Everything. But the pie, for some reason pie doesn't sound that good. Weird, I know. But I think I'll fill up on the other yummy stuff...ooooo and stuffing, I love stuffing....yeah. So only 3 more days. Yeah!

And only 4 weeks until Mom and Dad get home from Connecticut. Can't wait!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Just a week left! and other musings...

What an exciting month it has turned out to be. We've been super busy all ready, and our calendar keeps being added too. Just this month we are looking forward too TWILIGHT, (well, maybe just me....) BYU vs UTAH, THANKSGIVING, and the days ticking down to Mom and Dad returning from their mission! And those are just the really exciting things! (And I forgot to add planning for Christmas!) I also have to throw in there that Dec. 1st I get my hands on a copy of the Spring 2009 (holy cow, 2009?!?!) CTMH Idea book. Yippee!

So for the Twilight premier, a friend of mine rented out an entire theater for the midnight showing. Complete with a pre-party, t-shirts, goody bags, prizes and the crowning moment...the long awaited movie. She asked if I'd donate a raffle prize and if I wanted to add something to the goody bags. Of course! So the raffle basket is ready and I've been slaving (yeah, right) over the goody bag item. I'll post a pic after the event, I don't want to give too much away. BUT, as you can imagine it does involve stamping and it's super cute! Oh, did I mention there are only 217??? Yeah, I've been busy.

I'm a Esme! I found out through TwilightersAnonymous.com. Which Twilight Female Are You? Take the quiz and find out!
Take the Quiz and Share Your Results!


Much to Luke's dismay, I volunteered to let the YW paint our room downstairs. So after my card class next Wednesday, I've really got to get busy getting the room ready for paint. I've pulled down the wallpaper already. Next on the list is some (and by some I mean a lot) mudding and taping, and probably replacing a section of drywall, (not a very big one) and a coat or two of primer. But before I can get to that, I've got to get all of the stuff out of the room. Needless to say, we probably won't get our Christmas tree up until the first weekend of December. Surprisingly, I'm ok with that. I get super excited for Christmas, but this year I've decided to slow it down a bit. There are plenty of fun and exciting things to do and enjoy before Christmas, and I'm going to do them! I was watching a movie while working on my goody bag treats today and a character said something to the effect of "When I was a girl, they started decorating a few weeks before Christmas. Then it was right after Thanksgiving. Now Thanksgiving is overlooked and they start earlier than ever selling Christmas to us." That's so true! (I do have a few fun projects I'm working on for Christmas gifts though. I have to give myself plenty of time for that!)

Which brings me to this...
A couple of months ago I hit a breaking point. Thanks to some help from family and friends I am feeling like a totally new person, a better, happier person. I realized that some of the things going on were not normal, and I needed to deal with it. I have struggled with anxiety and depression for a really long time. I just didn't know that's what it was. I truly thought I was just crazy, and I did my best to hide it. I thought if anyone found out, they'd put me in a mental institution. A particular night when I was about 12 stands out to me. It's something that I've tried to forget since then, but keeps coming back to my thoughts. While the details won't be shared, the experience really freaked me out and I thought that I was a horrible person. While I didn't do anything wrong, the thought had been there. I realize now that it was a moment of OCD/Anxiety, and that I handled it pretty well. Getting the thoughts out of my head and taking myself out of the situation. There has been anxiety, panic attacks, OCD thoughts (the thing I struggle with the most) and as someone described "anxiety's evil step sister", depression, over the years. And honestly becoming a wife and mother have just made it worse. When you have someone besides yourself to worry about and take care of, it's easy to get out of control. Anyways, after prayer, a blessing, and a lot of support, I went to the Dr. I got on some medication and have been working every day to overcome this trial I've been given. It's been hard for me to talk about, but as the topic has come up and the time appropriate, I have come to realize how common these problems are. For awhile I went through the stage of "I should be able to overcome this myself. I don't need help..." but now that I've faced it, things are so much better. I feel alive and happy! I am enjoying the everyday moments and not worrying needlessly about things out of my control. I've come to realize that my best is good enough, and as long as I focus on the important things I'll be fine. It's a daily battle, but I know what I need to do to fight it. And more importantly, I'm not fighting it alone. Thanks to a loving supportive husband, and wonderful family and friends. And my biggest advocate, my Savior. The reason I finally decided to post about this is that I hope I can help anyone else who may be struggling with this or other problems realize that it's pretty normal and there is no shame in getting help. I only wish I'd have known sooner.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

What a weekend...

Well, as you can see we've been very busy the last few weeks. I was changing our calendar to November this morning and writing in what's coming up. Its not slowing down any.

To add to it, our water heater broke and we had to replace it on Friday. I thought we just needed to replace a valve, but when I called and asked Eugene if he could help me take it off (it was way tight and I didn't have the right wrench to loosen it) he looked at it and said we needed to replace the whole thing. Luke was at work so I took Bailee and Moses and went and bought a new one. I realized I wouldn't be able to replace it my-self so we carved pumpkins instead. When we got home from Trunk-or-Treating we started figuring out what we needed to do. Thankfully our good neighbor called and asked if we needed help, Eugene to the rescue as usual. We are very very grateful. I really freak out when you have to do anything with gas, I can just imagine doing something wrong and blowing up the house. Yikes. Luke and I were able to do most of it, with Eugene's help and guidance. It was a lot of hard work, but we are so grateful for the help of a good friend and neighbor.

I also taught a class at our ward's Super Saturday and had 'planned' enough time to finish it up Friday night. With the water heater mess, I didn't get to bed until 2:30. Double Yikes. So Saturday didn't start out so great either. Because the carpet was wet near the water heater, we decided to rent a carpet cleaner and clean all of the carpets. We started that around 1:30 and didn't finish until late afternoon. We were exhausted and sore by the end of the day.

But today as I was sitting in Church, I was thinking about how good it feels when you accomplish something that was hard. It makes you feel so successful and positive. I'm so glad to live in an area where there are good people surrounding us and willing to help. We've learned a lot and truly been blessed. We hope that those that have offered such service have in turn been blessed as well, and that someday we can return the favor to someone else.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween!

Bailee and I did some early trick-or-treating at the park. It looked cold outside so I skipped the vest and put on her coat. It wasn't cold.
There were so many people at the park, Bailee didn't enjoy it. Even the chocolate wasn't enough to make her keep going. We did get a picture of Captain Jack Sparrow and his 'ship' this year though.
After the park we came home and Bailee took her boots off. She refused to put them back on again. When Luke got home we headed out the door for our neighborhood Trunk-or-Treat. Before we got to the door Bailee threw up all over Luke and her costume. So we changed clothes and went down to the church. She really wasn't happy to be there, until she saw Cowboy Sister Amy, her nursery teacher.
It started raining as we were walking back to our car. Bailee really just did not feel good, so we didn't take her anywhere else. The favorite treat of the night was a Hannah Montana candy bracelet. This cowboy was in heaven!
Here's Bailee and Luke dumping the candy out to share and sort. Yum Yum!

Carving Pumpkins

I always look forward to carving pumpkins, and I've been especially excited this year. I wanted to try something new and fun. This morning I realized that we'd run out of time to carve them. So I decided it was now or never.

As soon as I put Bailee up in her chair to help me, she plugged her nose and said "The pumpkin makes my nose hurt, it stinks."
I tried to get her to dig in and help me clean them out, but she wouldn't do it. I finally convinced her to use a big spoon. She humored me for about a minute.



Finished Product

And here are our Masterpieces!

The lights were off when I took these pictures, but my flash was on. Bailee said "I'm making my scared face, turn the lights on please."


Thursday, October 30, 2008

Halloween Party

Introducing Cowboy Bailee! Grammy made her this cute cowboy vest.

She even let me braid her hair!

We went to a Halloween Party at our friends house. It was so fun to get together. Tina made some root beer and all of the kids were loving the fog from the dry ice.
Luke even wore a cowboy hat for a costume, and I didn't get a single picture to prove it.


Monday, October 27, 2008

Spooky Cookies

Monday afternoon Bailee and I mixed up a batch of Sugar cookies.
Then after our Family Home Evening lesson we frosted them.
Bailee ate lots of frosting...
We had a ton of cookies when we were finished! Luckily I went visiting Teaching the next day and was able to share.
Don't worry....we kept all of the ones that Bailee did.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Go Cougs...How 'bout the Rebels?

Happy Birthday Grampy!
Today was Grampy's birthday and we took him to the BYU vs UNLV football game. On our way Luke joined the Mtn. challenge. He did awesome! (He also did a 'dance' challenge. We'll have to post a video link when we get it.)
We had our traditional pre-game pizza. Bailee loves pizza, she was so excited.
Grampy let Bailee wear his hat. She thought it was fun to tease us. On our way to the game she kept saying "Go Cougars, Go Cougars." At one point I echoed her and said "Go Cougars." She looked at me and said "How 'bout the Rebels?" We all cracked up. There were a few UNLV fans among us, so Grampy wasn't alone.


Luke's prediction was pretty darn close. BYU beat the Rebels 42-35.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Pumpkins!

Grammy and Grampy grew Bailee 6 pumpkins! Grammy brought some really fun things to decorate them with, no mess! Bailee thought they were great.


Here are most of her pumpkins! We saved a couple to carve in the coming week.

peek-a-boo!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Future Scentsy Dealer?? and Meet Gus!

Grammy brought her Scentsy jars so I could smell the new scents. Bailee loved opening the little jars and smelling them. She would find one she liked and bring it around for everyone else to smell too....

...including her new friend Gus. This is Bailee's new puppy, just ask her. His name is Gus and she loves him.
Bailee likes taking Gus for walks, feeding him treats, and brushing him.