Found them!

After a lot of praying and cleaning and searching, I found the keys. Huge sigh of relief. Of course they were in a place we'd looked multiple times. Super happy though. I have a clean house and keys. :)

I can't find my keys! And other happenings

I lost my keys Saturday afternoon. We have looked every where, and I am just sick about it. I have re-enacted the last time I saw them so many times! I got out of the car, I grabbed the 1 bag from Walmart off of the back seat, I walked into the house, set the bag and my purse on the table, grabbed the newly purchased can of black paint, walked outside to paint the bases for my cute new V-day mail boxes, walked back inside, went downstairs and sat on the couch. I've checked shoes, the sweatshirt I was wearing, under all of the cushions and the 2 couches downstairs, I've looked in every drawer and cupboard in the house, in the garbage, every where I was and everywhere I wasn't. I feel like the whereabouts of my keys is right on the edge of my memory, and at any moment it will come to me.

This morning when I prayed at breakfast, I again asked for help in finding the keys. Afterwards Bailee said to me "They (meaning the holy ghost and Heavenly Father...) are looking for your keys, and when they find them they will tell you. So you don't have to keep praying about it." I love her logic. It was a teaching moment for both of us. I told her that I believe that Heavenly Father knows where my keys are, but maybe He's helping me learn patience and faith by allowing me to continue looking for them and praying about it. I told her that we have to have faith and keep praying because he doesn't always answer right away.

So today, my house is going to get a deep cleaning while I continue to search for my keys, and continue to pray for help in finding them. I hope to report good news by the end of the day. But if not, I will trust that the Lord has a plan.

Yesterday was a bit of a dejavu day. I was called to be the Beehive adviser in our ward. I will get to work with the 12 and 13 year old girls. I am really excited to work in Young Women's again, but I am truly sad to leave my primary class. I have only been teaching it for 5 weeks, but I have loved teaching the 8 year old children, and getting to know my sweet team teacher. I will miss them. It's just crazy because after I got home I was thinking about how 3 years ago, this month, this was the calling I got in our other ward. The one I referred to in my last post. Circumstances are surely different though. I am not pregnant, or sick. Life is pretty routine and we are settled.

I have felt the stirrings of change for the past few weeks and was thinking that it had to do with Maddox's upcoming cardio appointment, or the surgery that will likely happen in June. Those things will still be happening, but I think the change I was being prepared for was this new calling.

Speaking of heart stuff.....CHD Awareness week is coming up. We celebrate February 7th through the 14th. Wear red all week! Also if you are having a baby, or know someone having a baby could you do something super easy??? Will you request a Pulse Ox monitor/screening for the baby? This really simple, non-invasive test can save lives and give you peace of mind. It's a simple band-aid looking strip with a little red light. They wrap it around the babies hand or foot and check the oxygen saturation's, it takes just a minute. Even if you don't have a family history of heart defects, it's worth the minute to be sure.

Happy Monday! I'm off to do some cleaning and hopefully find my keys!

Some thoughts

I've been very reflective the past week. (minus yesterday, I was sick and didn't think about much of anything) I've been thinking about this time in my life....3 years ago and how much has changed since then. 3 years isn't really that long ago in the big picture. I was pregnant with Maddox and so, so, so sick. I remember thinking (actually I'm sure I thought this while pregnant with Bailee too) that if Heavenly Father really wanted women to bring children into this world, why oh why did it have to be such a miserable experience? Why can't I grow this baby and feel well enough to take care of Bailee too? Looking back though, it's easier to remember a lot of the really great things about being pregnant. Like feeling the baby move, the knowledge that you are doing something so important for someone else, the anticipation of meeting the little one and getting to know this precious spirit, the preparation of the clothes and nursery and all of the other essentials. The good things definitely make up for being sick. (It's hard to focus on that while you're puking your guts out though.) 

Anyways, I've just been thinking about this and how grateful I am for the Tender Mercies of the Lord. Though I didn't know it at the time, He really did prepare us for Maddox. I knew that things would not be the same for Bailee and I after Maddox was born, and as much as I looked forward to his arrival, I was feeling sad about the change in Bailee and my relationship that would surely happen. I am happy to know that I did everything I could to take advantage of that time Bai and I had together. It was such a fun and happy time for both of us. We played and laughed and loved and grew even closer. I remember my parents wanting so badly for Bailee to come spend some time at their home before Maddox came and I just kept saying no. I felt selfish for not wanting to 'share' her, but I knew in my heart that I needed her here. After Maddox was born I realized how important that time really was and I was even more grateful that I listened to those feelings. 

There were other things too, that prepared me. The numerous priesthood blessings for sure, my church calling at that time (working with the young women in our ward), and a greater desire to study the scriptures and pray. I was more consistent at those things during that time than I had been before. Heavenly Father helped me prepare physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally in so many ways. Even the passing of Dad B. had a huge part in how I was able to handle the news of Maddox's heart. Because we had just experienced the pain and joy of that time, I had a clear picture of the Lords plan. While feeling the sadness of  Dad B's passing, I felt the peace of knowing that he was happy, healthy, and well now. I felt the peace of knowing that one day we will be re-united. It's a day that I look forward too very much; a time when I can get to know who he truly is. Having felt all of those emotions just 3 weeks before Maddox came, I had that same peace and knowledge that whatever the outcome of this heart defect, it would be ok. We will have eternity. 

There is still so much unknown with Maddox's future. We have an 'ideal' plan in mind--Fontan surgery this summer, years of being healthy and fulfilling his hopes and dreams (and some of ours), becoming an eagle scout, serving a mission, the opportunity to be married and have a family, eventually a heart transplant-- but we also know that Heavenly Father has a plan for Maddox and whatever that plan is, it will be ok. One of the biggest things I think I've learned in the past 2 1/2 years....well maybe in the past year and a half, that first year is still kind of a blur......is that life is unpredictable, for us all...not just Maddox. We truly do not know what will happen to any of us, but we do know that we can be together forever through the plan of our Heavenly Father. I am trying to focus on now, and not so much on the future. We need to enjoy today today, and worry about tomorrow tomorrow. Easier said than done, but something that I'm working on nonetheless. 

...next post? All about Maddox. Bailee loved the post about her, but asked me immediately when I was going to do one about Maddox. The funny thing to me is I decided to do that post about her because I was feeling that so much of this blog has been about Maddox. She's so sweet though. 

About Bailee

Bailee is 5 1/2! I seriously can't believe it some days. Where has the time gone? It seems like just yesterday she was a baby. I was looking through dvd's tonight and found a couple from when she was between 1 and 2. She was seriously so much fun! She still is, just in different ways. So I just thought I'd do a brag post all about Bailee....

Bailee is a crafty girl. She always has been. She loves to color, paint, stamp, draw, chalk, cut, glue, string, build. Her ideal mommy-daughter time is crafting, and we don't do that nearly enough.

She loved all of her Christmas presents, but do you notice what she's doing? After everything was unwrapped, the first thing she re-visited was a princess coloring page from her auntie's.

Here she is at our Hope Kid's Christmas party, decorating a bag to put all of her goodies in.

Bailee is the best big sister EVER. She always has been. She couldn't wait for Maddox to come, and was so excited to go to the hospital to meet her little brother. I think she was confused about the whole thing for awhile. I had prepared her for him to come home, for her to be able to help me take care of him, for her to hold him and play with him. Though it wasn't anything like we planned, she eventually was able to do all of those things. I absolutely love watching Bailee and Maddox together. He ADORES her, and she takes such good care of him. She's patient (unless he gets into her room), and kind, and loves to help him learn new things (not always the best things, but new things nonetheless). It's fun to watch him mimic her (most of the time) and I love seeing the love and affection she has for him. It's priceless.

Bailee is strong. Strong willed, strong minded, strong in spirit. I don't imagine the first 5 months with Maddox  was easy on her, but she handled it like a champ. She was patient and loving. Her world was turned upside down, but she made the best of it. I am grateful for her strength.

Bailee is beautiful. Inside and out. She is such a sweet girl, and so thoughtful. She is really starting to think about other's feelings more, and always trying to do things for those around her. She loves to give gifts, and her favorite thing to give is pictures that shes drawn, colored or painted. I have stacks and stacks of them, and since she's learning to write, they are starting to say "To Mom From Bailee" or "I <3 mommy". It's so sweet. I love her smile and her twinkling blue eyes.

Bailee loves to dance, and she's so fun to watch. I've enjoyed seeing her progress over the last 3 years. She's become more coordinated and graceful. She loves all kinds of dance and makes up her own all of the time.

Bailee is smart. It has been so fun for her to go to school. She is soaking it up like a sponge. She loves her teachers, her classmates, learning to read and write. If you ask her what her favorite part of school is she'd say Monday. She loves (early out day) going to the computer lab. Her next favorite is art class. 

Some other random things to remember: She is a proud UNLV fan and want's to be a UNLV cheerleader, she adore's Bronco Mendenhall and Justin (but won't cheer for BYU), she's on her 3rd crush of the year (and yes, I mean 2012), she wants a baby sister so she can have a bunk bed, she's learning to ride her bike without training wheels, she's in CTR 5 and loves her new teacher, she loves talking about when we went to San Diego and how she loved Shamu......she was 9 months old, she (mostly) refuses to wear pants...unless she wants to be 'Flika" then she'll wear jeans if she can wear boots and her pink cowgirl hat,

I could go on and on. I am blessed to have such a sweet daughter. Even in the moments she's driving me nuts, I know how lucky I am. (And let's be honest, the things that drive me nuts are the things she get's from me. the boy craziness, how slowly she get's ready for school, the art supplies everywhere, her messy room....so this is where mom's wish for me to have one just like me comes into play) 

I love you Bai and I'm so proud of you!

Bailee's current favorites:

Color: Pink and Sparkle

Food: Bailee's beef noodle casserole (kind of like stroganoff)

Books: The Very Fairy Princess, the Magic Treehouse books, Summer Pony, the Boxcar children books

TV Show: Shake it up!

Movie: Flika (this is a new favorite), any of the Barbie movies, Tangled

Princess: Ariel
BFF's: McKinley, Katelyn, Libby, Trevor, Mommy
Treat: anything you can call a treat, rice crispy treats with sprinkles, cupcakes

Scrapping 2011

In the past 2 years I honestly have scrap booked only a couple of layouts. It just hasn't been a priority, and I promised myself that I would never let it become a chore. 'cause really, that takes the fun out of it. I do look at the books (and there are quite a few) stuffed full of layouts documenting our family in the first 4 years and wish that I had the same for the past 2. It is so fun to look back through them and reminisce. The kids especially love looking at them. 

I will also honestly say that when Close To My Heart announced their online scrap booking program, Studio J, I was sure I would not be interested. I love the hands on, crafting, cutting and gluing, inking and embellishing part of scraping. It's been a great creative outlet for me, and I don't plan on giving it up. However, I have been trying to get familiar with Studio J so I can help others use it. It really is a great tool, and the more I use it the more I love it. The past few days I've put together a few layouts, from the comfort of my bedroom, with nothing but the computer to get out and put away. I love the simpleness of Studio J and I love the complexity. Anyone can seriously use it, from beginner to pro, from the 'not so crafty but wants to be' to the scrap booking diva. 

There are some great tutorials on You Tube by Amy Ulen that you should definitely check out. I have learned so much by watching them! 

Here are a few layouts I've created in the past couple of days.

If you have any questions or want to learn more, you can email me tracibulkley@hotmail.com and/or visit my website http://tracibulkley.myctmh.com/ 

Happy Scrapping!