About Bailee

Bailee is 5 1/2! I seriously can't believe it some days. Where has the time gone? It seems like just yesterday she was a baby. I was looking through dvd's tonight and found a couple from when she was between 1 and 2. She was seriously so much fun! She still is, just in different ways. So I just thought I'd do a brag post all about Bailee....

Bailee is a crafty girl. She always has been. She loves to color, paint, stamp, draw, chalk, cut, glue, string, build. Her ideal mommy-daughter time is crafting, and we don't do that nearly enough.

She loved all of her Christmas presents, but do you notice what she's doing? After everything was unwrapped, the first thing she re-visited was a princess coloring page from her auntie's.

Here she is at our Hope Kid's Christmas party, decorating a bag to put all of her goodies in.

Bailee is the best big sister EVER. She always has been. She couldn't wait for Maddox to come, and was so excited to go to the hospital to meet her little brother. I think she was confused about the whole thing for awhile. I had prepared her for him to come home, for her to be able to help me take care of him, for her to hold him and play with him. Though it wasn't anything like we planned, she eventually was able to do all of those things. I absolutely love watching Bailee and Maddox together. He ADORES her, and she takes such good care of him. She's patient (unless he gets into her room), and kind, and loves to help him learn new things (not always the best things, but new things nonetheless). It's fun to watch him mimic her (most of the time) and I love seeing the love and affection she has for him. It's priceless.

Bailee is strong. Strong willed, strong minded, strong in spirit. I don't imagine the first 5 months with Maddox  was easy on her, but she handled it like a champ. She was patient and loving. Her world was turned upside down, but she made the best of it. I am grateful for her strength.

Bailee is beautiful. Inside and out. She is such a sweet girl, and so thoughtful. She is really starting to think about other's feelings more, and always trying to do things for those around her. She loves to give gifts, and her favorite thing to give is pictures that shes drawn, colored or painted. I have stacks and stacks of them, and since she's learning to write, they are starting to say "To Mom From Bailee" or "I <3 mommy". It's so sweet. I love her smile and her twinkling blue eyes.

Bailee loves to dance, and she's so fun to watch. I've enjoyed seeing her progress over the last 3 years. She's become more coordinated and graceful. She loves all kinds of dance and makes up her own all of the time.

Bailee is smart. It has been so fun for her to go to school. She is soaking it up like a sponge. She loves her teachers, her classmates, learning to read and write. If you ask her what her favorite part of school is she'd say Monday. She loves (early out day) going to the computer lab. Her next favorite is art class. 

Some other random things to remember: She is a proud UNLV fan and want's to be a UNLV cheerleader, she adore's Bronco Mendenhall and Justin (but won't cheer for BYU), she's on her 3rd crush of the year (and yes, I mean 2012), she wants a baby sister so she can have a bunk bed, she's learning to ride her bike without training wheels, she's in CTR 5 and loves her new teacher, she loves talking about when we went to San Diego and how she loved Shamu......she was 9 months old, she (mostly) refuses to wear pants...unless she wants to be 'Flika" then she'll wear jeans if she can wear boots and her pink cowgirl hat,

I could go on and on. I am blessed to have such a sweet daughter. Even in the moments she's driving me nuts, I know how lucky I am. (And let's be honest, the things that drive me nuts are the things she get's from me. the boy craziness, how slowly she get's ready for school, the art supplies everywhere, her messy room....so this is where mom's wish for me to have one just like me comes into play) 

I love you Bai and I'm so proud of you!

Bailee's current favorites:

Color: Pink and Sparkle

Food: Bailee's beef noodle casserole (kind of like stroganoff)

Books: The Very Fairy Princess, the Magic Treehouse books, Summer Pony, the Boxcar children books

TV Show: Shake it up!

Movie: Flika (this is a new favorite), any of the Barbie movies, Tangled

Princess: Ariel
BFF's: McKinley, Katelyn, Libby, Trevor, Mommy
Treat: anything you can call a treat, rice crispy treats with sprinkles, cupcakes

Tis the Season

I don't have a real reason for not updating the blog. We've been busy, but not so busy I couldn't update. We've been having fun and enjoying life, and I've taken plenty of pictures in the last 6 months. I guess I just haven't made it a priority.

We had a really great Christmas. Mom B. was here for the first part of the week and it was fun to spend time with her. Then the Spencer clan arrived later in the week (minus Trina and family, we missed them) and we had a lovely time. Christmas Eve day we lazed around putting together a puzzle, playing games, watching movies and football, and just enjoying each other's company. We all got new jammies for Christmas Eve from our elf, Petal. Bailee got a Tangled nightgown and Maddox got Animal (muppet) pj's. Grampy took Maddox out for rides in his truck, which totally made Maddox's day. Maddox loves being out and about, and usually cry's when we return home.

Christmas morning was really fun too. Maddox was getting into the excitement this year, so that made it really fun. Bailee is at the perfect age for a magical Christmas. They were both thrilled with their gifts. From Santa Bailee got an Ariel toddler doll and a stocking stuffed full of all things girly; a barbie, lip gloss, necklaces, dangle earings, and bubble bath. Maddox got a big truck that holds his little wheelies car and a stocking stuffed with essential boy toys; Wheezy (from toy story...Maddox is a little obsessed with penguins), Mater, 2 Thomas engines, bath crayons and a tie tack. I think Maddox's favorite gifts (besides candy) were the Wagon from Grandma B. and the cute little golf set from Grammy and Grampy S. He is obsessed with golf right now....that's a sport I will definitely encourage. Bailee's favorites appear to be her Ariel toddler doll and the Flynn Rider barbie she got from McKinley. Luke spoiled me with an awesome iPod doc/alarm clock and a laptop. He got new basketball shoes and a gift card for a round of golf. All in all, it was a pretty successful day in the gift department.

My favorite part of the day was attending church with my family. I love when Christmas or Christmas Eve falls on Sunday. It just really brings the Savior front and center and reminds us why we are celebrating. The program was by the choir, a few beautiful solos, and narrators from the congregation. It was a really beautiful service, and I'm so glad we were a part of it. During the month our family studied about the Saviors life for our scripture study. It was really a neat idea I found on pinterest, a book called The Christ book that contained scripture, pictures, and songs. I look forward to continuing that study, and plan on using it throughout the year.

The kids are both doing wonderfully. Bailee is doing so well in Kindergarten. She's making new friends, learning new things, and enjoying new experiences. She got her first report card before the Christmas break and I was pleasantly surprised at how well she is doing. I am hoping that with such a positive start, she will continue to excel and enjoy school. I also hope she inherits her dad's hard work ethic and study skills. Bailee is dancing still, and loving it. They took December off, and she is really looking forward to starting up again next month. She loves to preform and tolerates practice. :) Bailee is as sweet as she is sassy and though she pushes my buttons, I love that girl to pieces. I often find myself shaking my head at her antics and wonder how my mom ever put up with me.....Bailee is my daughter and there's no denying it.

Maddox is doing better than I could have ever hoped for. Thinking back over the past 29 months, I can't believe the progress he has made and the odds he's overcome. Those first 5 months seem like a whole other lifetime; one that increases my stress and anxiety if I think too much about it. I am so grateful for the good health that he has had. It's kind of hard to believe that it's been 2 years since his last surgery though. Crazy. He goes back to cardiology in February and we will probably start talking about the next surgery. We are planning on this summer, and preferably early in June. It seems so weird to actually want to send my baby back into the operating room, but I know that he needs this next surgery and I know that the lord will watch over us all. I honestly try not to think too much about it right now and just focus on today. He is such a miracle to me. There are so many times I stop and just am in awe at the normalcy of his life. If you don't see his scars, you would never even imagine he only has half a heart. He walks and runs, throws everything he can get his hands on, tears apart my house, antagonizes his sister, is crazy about sports, think's he's a muppet....Walter to be specific, talks more and more each day, and adores his daddy. He has the cutest personality and is such a little ham. He is Luke's son for sure.

Well, I'm going to leave it at that for now and I am going to try and update more often.

And a month later.....

We're just hanging in there. The weather has been insane, and it's making me crazy! I just want sunshine and heat! Oh, and to send the kids outside to play. I love warm days, like today, when most of the kids in the neighborhood are playing out in the circle. So fun. Can't wait for Summer!!

Maddox is doing ok. We had to increase a med because his oxygen levels were low, it seems to be helping. Though we do have him on O2 again when he sleeps. He seems to have more energy during the day if he sleeps with it at night. I was kind of worried last month, and thinking we'd be headed to surgery sooner than later. But I think the medicine adjustment and the O2 at night will be good for now. We go back next week. I'm so thankful he has been pretty healthy this winter. Crossing my fingers it stays that way! He is walking like CRAZY! It's so cute! He started walking by himself on March 25th. He can also open the front door, and he likes to escape. Of course he heads straight for the street. I'm so grateful for our quiet little neighborhood! The boy needs a leash! He absolutely loves the swing, and fell asleep in it this afternoon. As soon as he woke up from his nap, that's where he wanted to go again.

Bailee is good. She is looking forward to school starting in a few months. It actually took quite a bit of talking to convince her that she wants to go to school. She kept telling everyone that she's not going to Kindergarten, she's being home schooled.  Uh, not. I am really looking forward to the kids being in school! Bai's been planning her birthday party FOREVER! It's still 2 1/2 months away! But it'll be fun! Her new thing is to make rules about EVERYTHING! If it needs to be done, she thinks it needs to be a rule. I should write them down as she makes them up to remind her of the rules when she's a teenager. Then I can use the excuse that I didn't make them, I just enforce them. :)

So there's an update. :) 

Build-A-Bear (or a Deer)

Bailee was super lucky and found a Build-A-Bear gift card in her stocking. Santa thought maybe she would like to buy some clothes for her puppy, but she decided to build a new friend instead.

After carefully considering each and every friend in the store, (and by carefully I mean it took a really long time!) Bailee chose Clarice.

Bai thought it was so cool to put the stuffing in.

And she really liked putting the heart in.

Then it was time for a bath and a new wardrobe. If I thought choosing the friend was a long process I was wrong. It was fast  compared to how long it took to find the perfect outfit for Clarice. A cute party dress with fancy high heels. Of course I don't have a picture of the end product! We'll have to pose for that one soon.

Condemned

It happens to every mother, right? The first time your child calls you mean or says your a bad mom. Bailee hasn't said those words yet, but I know they'll come. (In fact, in a conversation today with McKinley, Bailee explained to her that she {meaning Bailee} "has the best mom in the whole world and that she never yells in her loud voice that she's mean.") Anyways....yesterday she was really upset with me, I don't even remember why. As we were walking down the aisle in Roberts she says in a not so quiet voice "Mom, you are making me not want to live with you anymore!" Sigh, and turn my head so she doesn't see me laugh. Then meet the eyes of what appears to be another sympathetic mother.

A letter to her bestie....

A few months ago Bailee made McKinley a card, nothing new around here. The difference this time is that she asked Daddy to write what she wanted. I usually have to edit, or give suggestions, or try and make it sound right. But Daddy wrote it word for word, and I'm so glad. It's so cute, I wanted to share:

Dear McKinley,
I made this card for your birthday. I decided this was going to be your best present ever. This is how it is, and this is your only chance to have fun. I think you are the best friend ever, in the whole wide world. I will never forget you. McKinley, we won't grow tails. Sorry.
You are the best girl I know. Love Bailee

Post 366

Wow, that's a big number. :)

So today I bottled peaches. They are BEAUTIFUL! I have enjoyed looking at them all evening. I have one more box to bottle tomorrow. It's a time consuming, tiring project. But I feel it is well worth the effort. Maddox had discovered that he LOVES peaches. He scarfs them down.

Since we had plenty of peaches around, I also decided to make a peach pie for FHE. Super easy and super delicious! At least to Maddox and I. Luke and Bailee don't have the same love of peaches that Maddox and I do. Sad.

Tomorrow we're off to story time at the library. Bailee is sad that it's English story time instead of Spanish story time. She's been practicing the "Buenos Dias" song all week and can't wait to sing it. Friday can't come soon enough for her. Except I reminded her that she has Dance tomorrow, and that cheered her right up.

AHHHH! Maddox is CRAWLING! He crawled for the first time at our therapy play group last Thursday, and now he is EVERYWHERE! From a physical therapy stand point, that is GREAT news. From a mommy stand point....the jury is still out. I love his new skill, I don't so much love the new mobility. If I look away for a second he is into something he shouldn't be. His current favorite is tearing pages out of our church magazines. He is also cruising all around the furniture. And now that he can crawl to get up to the couch, he is rarely on the floor.

Shhh! Don't tell Bailee, but we are planning a trip down to see Grammy and Grampy S. next week. Luke doesn't get to come :( But I am excited to be there for Homecoming. It's been 10 years! Crazy!

I'll also get to see my Papa, who has been in the hospital for the past week. The dr.'s can't figure out what's going on and have decided it's all in Papa's head. They want to send him home tomorrow, but we all know that's not going to end well. Hopefully with some forceful insistence from my family, he will see some different dr.'s. I have wished more than once that he was at Primary Children's, because I know they would take better care of him. So for those that pray, please keep him in your prayers.

Busy Busy Busy

The last month has been so busy! I have sat down to post so many times, only to remember a million other things I wanted/needed to do. I always feel like I should be posting pictures too, but it takes so long! A new computer is high on my list of wants, but probably won't move to the list of needs until this one crashes....for real. (We've had several fake-outs, luckily it keeps me backing things up). So what we've been up too.....(It turned out to be a really long post! If anyone actually reads my rambling....there is a cute Bailee story at the end)

We started Pre-School, at home. A little crazy (or a lot), but it just didn't fit in the budget. So Bailee has another 4 year old friend who wasn't going to go either and we decided to just do our own. So far they've had fun and even learned a thing or two, but it is seriously a lot of work on my part. Hopefully this is a one time deal. ;)

I've completed a couple of projects around the house. I painted a huge chalkboard wall in our downstairs family room....loving it! (and so are the kids!) We also used to have this nice built in shelf on the wall between the tv room and laundry room. It was open to the tv room and made nice dvd/video storage as well as a catch-all. We have plenty of storage in the entertainment center, and I decided I'd rather have the shelves accessible in the laundry room. So I switched it around. Just call me "Handy Manny". (we watch too much Disney Channel around here). Oh and of course Bailee had to ask me what I was doing a MILLION times during the project. After telling her a dozen times, I finally told her that I just like to break things. Her reply?? "That's ok, Grandpa can fix anything." Not surprising.

I've been working in the yard, doing the 'fall clean up' stuff even though I'm not ready to let go of summer. We've had a nice crop of tomatoes, peppers, onions, and squash this year. The tomatoes are finally turning red, yummy. I just wished they would have been ripe at the same time as the peppers, I had planned on making a bunch of salsa to freeze. The apples are close to being ready to pick now too, so I guess I should make time for canning.

Last Saturday we walked in the annual "Walk for Healing Hearts". It was cool to see so many people there; Heart Hero's and tons of their supporters. I am still feeling so new in the 'heart' world, but am constantly amazed and reminded of how blessed we are....Maddox is. It could be so much worse. At Heart Camp as I was talking to some other mom's one mentioned that she felt like they had it easy. I kind of laughed and pointed out that her baby had a transplant, kind of a big deal. But she feels like I do, that it could be a lot worse. "Half a heart, no big deal." It is a big deal, and we don't take it lightly but really we do recognize how blessed we are. So many life lessons learned in the past year.

Maddox continues to see a physical therapist once a month at home, and now once a week in a play group setting. He is working hard to learn to sit up by himself, crawl, and walk. He's got cruising around the furniture down, so I'm sure he'll be running in no time. He has all of the 'skills' to crawl, he just hasn't found the motivation, I guess. We'll keep working on it. He's still gaining weight, enjoying food, and not wearing oxygen. All good signs that his heart function is not decreasing. I'm trying to enjoy each day and not think about next year.

Bailee is as sassy as ever and I love 'almost' every minute of it. She is finishing up her first (and probably last) Soccer season. She's been counting down until the last game since the first practice. It's been a long 9 weeks for her. Wednesday she told me that when she grows up she wants to be a BYU cheerleader. When I told her she needed to be a high school cheerleader first, her response was "I already know how to be a cheerleader, I don't need to go to high school." She also doesn't need guitar lessons, piano lessons, or drum lessons because she 'already knows how to play'. The lucky little girl got another "wish with all the dreams of her heart" and gets to take dance again. She had her first class on Tuesday and was in HEAVEN. I haven't seen her smile that much since her last recital. The girl can TALK. (I can't imagine where she get's it from.....) She chatted it up with BYU coach Bronco Mendenhall on Wednesday night. Here's a story.

We went to the weekly Coaches radio show broadcast Wednesday night. In between segments Coach M was talking to the kids who came up to him and letting them wear his headset ("ear muffs" as Bailee calls them) She of course wanted a turn. I have the CUTEST picture of her from behind wearing the headphones and looking up at Coach M., who is resting his head on folded arms, smiling down at her. (I will definitely post that one soon.) After the show we were waiting for the elevator at the same time as Coach M.. Bailee started telling him about her trip to Disneyland. He asked her questions about her trip, and she answered them, as we waited, rode down the elevator, and walked out the gates. The closer we got to the parking lot, the faster she talked. It was seriously the sweetest thing. I can't imagine that any other head football coach would take the time to talk to her as he did. They talked about so many things, as if no one else was around, he even shared a couple of secrets with her.(and they had nothing to do with the quarterback situation) Even as he was walking to his car and we were walking the other way, she was talking and he was answering. When we finally got in our car she of course wanted to call Grampy and tell him. As soon as he answered she said "Grampy, I just talked too.....Mom, what was his name again? Oh yeah, Bronco Mendenhall. Yeah, he's one of the BYU coaches." To her he was just someone who was interested in what she had to say. Someone who she instantly trusted (which doesn't happen very often) and felt safe with. For me, I  appreciated that he took the time to visit with her; that he could step out of the 'football' world for 15 minutes and talk to my 4 year old, and enjoy it. I think it's so natural for us to teach our kids not to bother 'important' people. We don't want them to be in the way etc. This was a good reminder that people are people, and there are some good ones out there. I gained a lot of respect for this coach, and am taking away a good lesson.

Well, I could go on but this is starting to feel like one of those 6 page long Christmas letters.....

I {heart} Malibu

So one of my 'requirements' for this trip was that we go to a GOOD beach. I've been to a couple of different ones in Cali and really hadn't been impressed. I wanted a nice, big, clean, beautiful beach; like you see on tv. I talked with Chelsea and she suggested Zuma beach in Malibu. Much to Luke's surprise (I'm not normally an 'early' riser) I got everyone up and going at 5 am. (4 pacific time) It was so worth it. As we left the crazy busy downtown LA area and pulled on to the Pacific Coast Highway we could see endless beaches and ocean. It was amazing. I loved all of the beach houses in Malibu, such character! We grabbed some sandwiches and had a picnic on the beach, so much fun! (And Bailee learned where 'sandwiches' got their name!)

Bailee enjoyed the water even though it was cold. Mostly, I think she was happy to be out of the car!

 

Bailee also liked finding shells and rocks. She brought some special ones (and by special I mean every one that she saw) home to put in her rock garden. (I had to designate a place for her own rock garden; all of the rocks she collects have been put in my flower garden or on the lawn. This is a much better solution for us all.)

Malibu Continued....

Maddox cried when I took him close to the water. I think the big waves and the noise scared him. He did really enjoy the sand though, and I'm sure he ate more than his fair share.

This was his first trip to the beach, and the first one Bailee will remember. (She was about 9 months when we went to San Diego)

Grandma found a dead hermit crab, Bailee was inspecting it. Love that face!

Love this one too! She had so much fun, once she got over the whole 'sand get's in everything' thing. I was surprised that she let Grampy bury her! The first of many surprises on this trip.

Really?

Snow? Are you KIDDING me? It is MAY 24th! My poor garden! I spent hours getting it ready and planting. I was sore for DAYS after. Now I get to do it all again? Ugh. Although, snow outside makes it easier for me to stay inside, which makes isolation a little easier. Yeah, not so much.

Happy Thought: Our trip to Cali is coming fast! We told Bailee about Disneyland. I didn't think she was very excited, so I was kind of disappointed. But then she came out of her room lugging a suit case and informed us she was all packed. 1 prom dress, 3 pair of PJ's and a pair of panties. What more does a princess need? I'm glad she's excited.

Sonny with a Chance of Cloudy Meatballs

Maddox loves Spaghetti. He plays in it, and even eats some of it. I've been making it more often the last month or so because I know he will eat it.

Since watching "Cloudy with a chance of meatballs" a few months ago, Bailee has called this favorite meal "Sonny with a Chance of Cloudy Meatballs." So funny.

A few pics

Here's a round of pics from the first half of January. 

 

Bailee loves to take pictures, so here's one of Maddox and Mommy.

Maddox is learning to like solids, slowly but surely. He does love the teething biscuits, when he can keep a hold of it.

We had a friend date with Kin and Lyss. We had lunch at the mall and then went to watch The Princess and the Frog. Super cute movie, the girls liked it....the mommies loved it. Classic Disney style, good music, creepy villain(s).

Best friends. Awwww.

Cute Maddox after a bath. Love the lack of hose and stickers! Such a cute smile, and growing so fast! I think by heart baby standards he's pretty big.

I finally finished his shelf. So cute, I love it.

Maddox's first play date with Kambria. They were playing on the floor next to each other and we noticed they were holding hands. Awww. Kambria kept sucking on Maddox's fingers, funny.

Best Buddies

I was going to start the morning with grumpiness about mornings at the hospital. It's the hardest time to be here. Between feedings, Vital checks, blood draws, chest xrays and Dr.'s rounds (amoung other things) it seems that everytime Maddox falls asleep they're bugging him again. Even as I'm typing he's sleeping so peacefully and here comes Nurse to give him the morning meds. Not that I'm complaining (ok, well maybe a little) they do take really good care of him (and us) here. Mornings are just hard. So I was going to start with grumpiness and then I uploaded some pictures and got to looking through the adventures of the past couple of months. We've had some really great months.

Bailee and Maddox are best buddies and she is going to be SO EXCITED when we get home later today. She's been asking for Maddox to come home, and basically told us not to come home without him. She really loves him, and he loves her! We've done some video messages back and forth for the kids and they've both really liked that. It makes Bailee feel more involved and shows her how important she is to Maddox, and watching Bailee on the video makes Maddox smile and talk. Last week as I was showing him a video, he kept touching the screen. When I told Bailee about that she said "Was he trying to mess up my hair? He's so silly!"

A couple of weeks ago we took both kiddos to see Santa. It was nice to be out together, we really haven't done very much of that since Maddox was born. We've been so careful about where we take Maddox and who is near him. But I really wanted them to go see Santa together, and worried this would be the only chance. This is the first year that Bailee has been excited about Santa. Even though she was shy, she told him just what she wanted for Christmas. A pink scooter. I'm excited for the magic part of Christmas this year. Maddox didn't ask for anything, I wonder what he would say? A new heart? More time? Or maybe he has just what he needs, great care and a great family?

Bailee loves to play with Maddox. She wanted to get into Maddox's crib one afternoon and play with the mobil. Maddox loved it! He often lays on sister's bed and talks to her, but this is the first time she got in with him. He kept looking at her and smiling, kicking his legs and talking. So cute!

Bailee can't wait for Maddox to go to church with her. She loves to show him her pretty dresses, and he humors her with a smile.

This is their first bath together. What a briliant idea! I know, right? Also the last bath in the tub for Mad Dog for awhile. He wasn't loving it, and Bailee wanted her 'space' back. Oh well. They usually are all smiles and giggles when they're together.

In the Cath Lab and Happy Birthday Daddy!

We arrived at Primary's bright and early, 6 am! Maddox was a little trooper while we waited, and when the nurses came to get him, he was all smiles. He hasn't eaten since 11:30 last night, so I was expecting some major grouchiness. The Cath should take about 3 hours, so we're hoping he'll be done around 11. Then we can expect at least 6 hours of recovery time. He looked pretty cute in the hospital issued PJ's. They were so big on him! (I was going to post a pic, but this card reader isn't working.)

After they took Maddox into the Lab, Luke and I went and grabbed some breakfast. I realized that I've left the cell pohone in the diaper bag which is hanging out in the Lab with Maddox. Nice. So hopefully it won't ring a bunch of times and cause problems. Now we'll just wait of this pager to go off, and then go pick up our sweet little guy.

Today is Luke's birthday! I'm glad he got to take the day off, but sorry we'll be spending the whole time in the hospital. Last night we celebrated and let him open his presents. I made Orange Chicken (it was delish! I'll post the recipe soon) and fried rice. For dessert we made Orange Julius. Luke let Bailee help him open his presents, and she thought that was the best. I'm not sure that he had any surprises though, Bailee told him about at least 2 of his gifts before. Time to start keeping secrets from her! She's so funny!

Last night Mom B. told us that Luke had his surgery on December 8th. That's when Maddox's is, 29 years later. It's kind of crazy! Look back a few posts for pics of Luke before his surgery.

Bailee is loving the holiday season! I hope we can make it extra special for her, despite spending the next few weeks in the hospital. She has been dancing around the house singing "It's a Jolly Roger holiday". We think it's a mix of a song from Mary Poppins, and a Christmas song, but we're not really sure. It's so cute though. She says all of the time "Mom, I really am a rock star." And she is, unless she's Snow White. Then she's a princess. That girl keeps me laughing, and I'm so glad she's home!

Well, we'll post updates later when we hear more.

My Princess is HOME!

I am so happy to have Bailee back! That was like the longest 2 weeks of my life! I told her she couldn't go back to Grammy and Grampy's without me again until she is at least 6.

Today she told me that she misses them and wants to go visit again. But "Just for 6 weeks this time." Six weeks??? Are you kidding me??? She obviously doesn't have a clear concept of time.

So tonight Bailee and I went to a wedding reception. Our conversation went like this.
Mom: Bailee, let's go to the wedding now.
Bailee: Will she have her own handsome prince?
Mom: Yes, she will.
Bailee: What's his name?
Mom: (tells Bailee his name.)
Bailee: Well that's a weird name for a handsome prince.
later at the wedding--
Bailee: Is that true love?
Mom: What?
Bailee: That boy and girl right there (points to the couple at our table). Is that true love?
Mom: I guess so.
Bailee: Are they going to get married today too?
Mom: I think they are already married.
Bailee: Oh, did we go to their wedding too?
Mom: No, I've never seen them before.
Bailee: Aww man! I wanted to go to their wedding too!

This little girl is OBSESSED with anything to do with getting married. She thinks all brides are princess' (they are of course) and all grooms are handsome princes' (most of them are...). Several months ago Bailee kept telling us she didn't want to get baptized because she would get water in her eyes. Since we have another 5 years before we really need to have that conversation, and I knew she'd get over by then, we didn't try and change her mind. Until one night after she'd told us at least a dozen times. I finally said "Well, if you don't get baptized, you can't get married in the temple." Of course from that time on she can't wait to get baptized so she can get married in the temple. If she's this obsessed with it now, heaven help me when she's older!

4 Months and counting

Maddox turned 4 months on Monday! I don't think anyone, including me, really knows how big of a milestone that is for him. 4 months ago I didn't know if he was even going to make it through surgery, or if I could be strong enough to be his mommy. He did, I am.

I will find the camera and upload some pictures later.

So 2 nights ago I was downstairs scraping wall paper. Luke was at YM, Bailee's still at grammy and grampy's, and Maddox was asleep. I felt alone. It was too quiet and I had too much time to think. I thought of everything that I have gone through the past 4 months. This always makes me feel guilty, because I know how blessed I am. Others would gladly take my bad days over theirs, and a baby with lots of medical issues over no baby at all. I know that. But I had a little epiphany. It's ok for me to loose it now and then. It's ok for me to not be strong once in awhile. It's ok for me to feel sad and angry about what I am going through. It's ok for me to cry and let it all out. I don't have to bottle it all up to spare someones feelings. That doesn't make me selfish, it makes me human. So I cried. And I felt. And I prayed. And then I smiled and am moving on. I hope I do have another day like that.

Last Thursday we met with Dr. Pinto, Maddox's cardiologist. She confirmed my thoughts about moving forward with the next surgery. I can see my little guy declining, though it is subtle, and I'm ready for him to have the next one. I know it'll make a huge difference in his little life, and he'll feel better. So Maddox will be having his next open heart surgery within the next 3 weeks. Never would have imagined being glad about something like this. But I am. He'll be in good hands when we turn him over to Dr. Kaza, and he's in the Lord's hands. That's the important thing.

This is one special little boy and I am so proud to be his momma. Sometimes I wish the Lord didn't trust me so much, but I am happy he trusted me with Maddox. I wouldn't trade him for anything. I am also so thankful he blessed me with Bailee. I couldn't get through this without her. She is my best little buddy and brings a smile to my face every day. She makes me stronger and want to be better. Love that little girl and missing her so much! And Luke. He's just simply AMAZING. Each and every day I am grateful that the Lord brought us together. I am blessed. I am grateful.

Painting Pumpkins

About 3 weeks ago McKinley came over after dance class. (while Lyss and Steve were in Hawaii...jealous.) But anyways....
We had grown these cute little pumpkins and I decided to let the girls paint them. I carefully put little puddles of different colors on each of their plates. Lots of different colors. I was excited to see what they did with them......

Well, McKinley swirled them all together and came out with her favorite color. Purple!

Bailee painted little spots different colors, didn't mix the paints, and rinsed her brush often. Then she painted pink over the whole thing.

I was going to take a picture of the girls with their finished projects but when I left for a second to do something for Maddox.....

McKinley painted her feet and face purple. I got a little distracted with cleaning up the mess.

The important thing is that they had fun, right??

Now and Then

This was not the first view I wanted to share of the play room....but here it is. On Wednesday, McKinley came over to play after dance class. I heard them giggling and peeked in to find this.....

....and this....

....and this.

And it reminded me of this..... (May 2007)

Did I mention....

That Maddox gained another 5 oz this past week!! So excited. The bigger he can be before the next surgery, the better. Each oz is a blessing! He's eating from the bottle like a champ and growing like a weed, only much much cuter.

I have to scan and share a few more pics from Luke's younger days that I found. Maddox has his daddy's smile, so cute!

Bailee is becoming more of a diva everyday. I love it, except when it drives me crazy. :) The best thing I've done for her (well, probably not the truly best thing...and it may be more for me) is get her a closet space saver bar. It puts the clothes at her height and she LOVES it. My 3 year old hangs up her own clothes! And now that she can reach her dresses she gets dressed herself. This morning she put together a brown ensemble and came to me saying "Can we go somewhere today so I can go out in this outfit?" So cute. I need to take a picture. Bailee continues to love dance class and when we ask her to show us her dance she tells us it's a secret. I guess we'll have to wait for the recital. She's always dancing around the house and being Hannah Montana. When I asked her where she got her sweet dance moves I shouldn't have been surprised when she said "From Grandpa Spencer". That's a pretty typical answer. That's where she grew so big, because she drank her milk. It's where she got so smart, because he lets her watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse whenever she wants. It's where she got so cute. Yeah, pretty much the answer for everything. This girl cracks me up (and Brad, just ask her) and I am loving this age. (except for when it drives me crazy. Oh wait, I already said that.)

Luke continues to work so hard. We appreciate his sacrifice and willingness. I know it's not easy for him, but he does his best and is incredible. He's got a lot on his plate right now, but if anyone can handle it, it's Luke.

More pics of the house projects next week! Getting super excited about getting things done! And did I mention that I can't wait to put up the Christmas tree?? But I will wait until Thanksgiving, I promise! It's going to look so good in our new living room!

Oh, and Grammpy???? Bailee really needs a real tree this year. If she says pretty please do you think you could bring her one??