Tis the Season

I don't have a real reason for not updating the blog. We've been busy, but not so busy I couldn't update. We've been having fun and enjoying life, and I've taken plenty of pictures in the last 6 months. I guess I just haven't made it a priority.

We had a really great Christmas. Mom B. was here for the first part of the week and it was fun to spend time with her. Then the Spencer clan arrived later in the week (minus Trina and family, we missed them) and we had a lovely time. Christmas Eve day we lazed around putting together a puzzle, playing games, watching movies and football, and just enjoying each other's company. We all got new jammies for Christmas Eve from our elf, Petal. Bailee got a Tangled nightgown and Maddox got Animal (muppet) pj's. Grampy took Maddox out for rides in his truck, which totally made Maddox's day. Maddox loves being out and about, and usually cry's when we return home.

Christmas morning was really fun too. Maddox was getting into the excitement this year, so that made it really fun. Bailee is at the perfect age for a magical Christmas. They were both thrilled with their gifts. From Santa Bailee got an Ariel toddler doll and a stocking stuffed full of all things girly; a barbie, lip gloss, necklaces, dangle earings, and bubble bath. Maddox got a big truck that holds his little wheelies car and a stocking stuffed with essential boy toys; Wheezy (from toy story...Maddox is a little obsessed with penguins), Mater, 2 Thomas engines, bath crayons and a tie tack. I think Maddox's favorite gifts (besides candy) were the Wagon from Grandma B. and the cute little golf set from Grammy and Grampy S. He is obsessed with golf right now....that's a sport I will definitely encourage. Bailee's favorites appear to be her Ariel toddler doll and the Flynn Rider barbie she got from McKinley. Luke spoiled me with an awesome iPod doc/alarm clock and a laptop. He got new basketball shoes and a gift card for a round of golf. All in all, it was a pretty successful day in the gift department.

My favorite part of the day was attending church with my family. I love when Christmas or Christmas Eve falls on Sunday. It just really brings the Savior front and center and reminds us why we are celebrating. The program was by the choir, a few beautiful solos, and narrators from the congregation. It was a really beautiful service, and I'm so glad we were a part of it. During the month our family studied about the Saviors life for our scripture study. It was really a neat idea I found on pinterest, a book called The Christ book that contained scripture, pictures, and songs. I look forward to continuing that study, and plan on using it throughout the year.

The kids are both doing wonderfully. Bailee is doing so well in Kindergarten. She's making new friends, learning new things, and enjoying new experiences. She got her first report card before the Christmas break and I was pleasantly surprised at how well she is doing. I am hoping that with such a positive start, she will continue to excel and enjoy school. I also hope she inherits her dad's hard work ethic and study skills. Bailee is dancing still, and loving it. They took December off, and she is really looking forward to starting up again next month. She loves to preform and tolerates practice. :) Bailee is as sweet as she is sassy and though she pushes my buttons, I love that girl to pieces. I often find myself shaking my head at her antics and wonder how my mom ever put up with me.....Bailee is my daughter and there's no denying it.

Maddox is doing better than I could have ever hoped for. Thinking back over the past 29 months, I can't believe the progress he has made and the odds he's overcome. Those first 5 months seem like a whole other lifetime; one that increases my stress and anxiety if I think too much about it. I am so grateful for the good health that he has had. It's kind of hard to believe that it's been 2 years since his last surgery though. Crazy. He goes back to cardiology in February and we will probably start talking about the next surgery. We are planning on this summer, and preferably early in June. It seems so weird to actually want to send my baby back into the operating room, but I know that he needs this next surgery and I know that the lord will watch over us all. I honestly try not to think too much about it right now and just focus on today. He is such a miracle to me. There are so many times I stop and just am in awe at the normalcy of his life. If you don't see his scars, you would never even imagine he only has half a heart. He walks and runs, throws everything he can get his hands on, tears apart my house, antagonizes his sister, is crazy about sports, think's he's a muppet....Walter to be specific, talks more and more each day, and adores his daddy. He has the cutest personality and is such a little ham. He is Luke's son for sure.

Well, I'm going to leave it at that for now and I am going to try and update more often.

In the Cath Lab and Happy Birthday Daddy!

We arrived at Primary's bright and early, 6 am! Maddox was a little trooper while we waited, and when the nurses came to get him, he was all smiles. He hasn't eaten since 11:30 last night, so I was expecting some major grouchiness. The Cath should take about 3 hours, so we're hoping he'll be done around 11. Then we can expect at least 6 hours of recovery time. He looked pretty cute in the hospital issued PJ's. They were so big on him! (I was going to post a pic, but this card reader isn't working.)

After they took Maddox into the Lab, Luke and I went and grabbed some breakfast. I realized that I've left the cell pohone in the diaper bag which is hanging out in the Lab with Maddox. Nice. So hopefully it won't ring a bunch of times and cause problems. Now we'll just wait of this pager to go off, and then go pick up our sweet little guy.

Today is Luke's birthday! I'm glad he got to take the day off, but sorry we'll be spending the whole time in the hospital. Last night we celebrated and let him open his presents. I made Orange Chicken (it was delish! I'll post the recipe soon) and fried rice. For dessert we made Orange Julius. Luke let Bailee help him open his presents, and she thought that was the best. I'm not sure that he had any surprises though, Bailee told him about at least 2 of his gifts before. Time to start keeping secrets from her! She's so funny!

Last night Mom B. told us that Luke had his surgery on December 8th. That's when Maddox's is, 29 years later. It's kind of crazy! Look back a few posts for pics of Luke before his surgery.

Bailee is loving the holiday season! I hope we can make it extra special for her, despite spending the next few weeks in the hospital. She has been dancing around the house singing "It's a Jolly Roger holiday". We think it's a mix of a song from Mary Poppins, and a Christmas song, but we're not really sure. It's so cute though. She says all of the time "Mom, I really am a rock star." And she is, unless she's Snow White. Then she's a princess. That girl keeps me laughing, and I'm so glad she's home!

Well, we'll post updates later when we hear more.

4 Months and counting

Maddox turned 4 months on Monday! I don't think anyone, including me, really knows how big of a milestone that is for him. 4 months ago I didn't know if he was even going to make it through surgery, or if I could be strong enough to be his mommy. He did, I am.

I will find the camera and upload some pictures later.

So 2 nights ago I was downstairs scraping wall paper. Luke was at YM, Bailee's still at grammy and grampy's, and Maddox was asleep. I felt alone. It was too quiet and I had too much time to think. I thought of everything that I have gone through the past 4 months. This always makes me feel guilty, because I know how blessed I am. Others would gladly take my bad days over theirs, and a baby with lots of medical issues over no baby at all. I know that. But I had a little epiphany. It's ok for me to loose it now and then. It's ok for me to not be strong once in awhile. It's ok for me to feel sad and angry about what I am going through. It's ok for me to cry and let it all out. I don't have to bottle it all up to spare someones feelings. That doesn't make me selfish, it makes me human. So I cried. And I felt. And I prayed. And then I smiled and am moving on. I hope I do have another day like that.

Last Thursday we met with Dr. Pinto, Maddox's cardiologist. She confirmed my thoughts about moving forward with the next surgery. I can see my little guy declining, though it is subtle, and I'm ready for him to have the next one. I know it'll make a huge difference in his little life, and he'll feel better. So Maddox will be having his next open heart surgery within the next 3 weeks. Never would have imagined being glad about something like this. But I am. He'll be in good hands when we turn him over to Dr. Kaza, and he's in the Lord's hands. That's the important thing.

This is one special little boy and I am so proud to be his momma. Sometimes I wish the Lord didn't trust me so much, but I am happy he trusted me with Maddox. I wouldn't trade him for anything. I am also so thankful he blessed me with Bailee. I couldn't get through this without her. She is my best little buddy and brings a smile to my face every day. She makes me stronger and want to be better. Love that little girl and missing her so much! And Luke. He's just simply AMAZING. Each and every day I am grateful that the Lord brought us together. I am blessed. I am grateful.

Did I mention....

That Maddox gained another 5 oz this past week!! So excited. The bigger he can be before the next surgery, the better. Each oz is a blessing! He's eating from the bottle like a champ and growing like a weed, only much much cuter.

I have to scan and share a few more pics from Luke's younger days that I found. Maddox has his daddy's smile, so cute!

Bailee is becoming more of a diva everyday. I love it, except when it drives me crazy. :) The best thing I've done for her (well, probably not the truly best thing...and it may be more for me) is get her a closet space saver bar. It puts the clothes at her height and she LOVES it. My 3 year old hangs up her own clothes! And now that she can reach her dresses she gets dressed herself. This morning she put together a brown ensemble and came to me saying "Can we go somewhere today so I can go out in this outfit?" So cute. I need to take a picture. Bailee continues to love dance class and when we ask her to show us her dance she tells us it's a secret. I guess we'll have to wait for the recital. She's always dancing around the house and being Hannah Montana. When I asked her where she got her sweet dance moves I shouldn't have been surprised when she said "From Grandpa Spencer". That's a pretty typical answer. That's where she grew so big, because she drank her milk. It's where she got so smart, because he lets her watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse whenever she wants. It's where she got so cute. Yeah, pretty much the answer for everything. This girl cracks me up (and Brad, just ask her) and I am loving this age. (except for when it drives me crazy. Oh wait, I already said that.)

Luke continues to work so hard. We appreciate his sacrifice and willingness. I know it's not easy for him, but he does his best and is incredible. He's got a lot on his plate right now, but if anyone can handle it, it's Luke.

More pics of the house projects next week! Getting super excited about getting things done! And did I mention that I can't wait to put up the Christmas tree?? But I will wait until Thanksgiving, I promise! It's going to look so good in our new living room!

Oh, and Grammpy???? Bailee really needs a real tree this year. If she says pretty please do you think you could bring her one??

If he's anything like me....

Maddox is 3 months old today! WOW! What a 3 months it has been, and as crazy as it sounds, it's been a wonderful 3 months. I remember thinking through the first few days that if Maddox was going to die, I'd rather it happen sooner than later. I didn't want to get attached to this little guy and then have to let him go. Selfish. I am so incredibly grateful for Maddox and I am grateful for each minute of each day that I have with him. He has been a blessing in a million ways, and our family is truly better with him in it.

I first heard this song one day as I was driving to Primary's to be with Maddox. I cried. All through my pregnancy I joked that this little boy would give me hell his whole life, after all, I was sicker than I had been with Bailee. I was wrong. Because Luke was such a sweet little boy I kept saying I hoped he was just like his daddy. Maddox is such a sweet and happy baby, but I never imagined he'd start his life off so much like his daddy. Mom B. found these pictures the other day and showed them to me. It was crazy to see Luke as a baby looking so much like Maddox.

Luke arrives at Primary Children's (Dec 1980)

Maddox, just before being sent to PCMC

Luke and Maddox

Van and Luke

Luke's angels.

I wish I had pictures of Maddox's angels. That's the only way to describe the nurses and dr.'s at PCMC. Miracles happen there every minute, and it's in large part to the incredible people that work there. I truly believe that they are guided step by step by God.

I am so looking forward to the years ahead and watching Maddox following in many of his daddy's footsteps. If he's anything like Luke, he will be amazing.

A day in the life....

I decided to take a few pictures of some of our daily routines.

After Luke goes to work, at least one of the kids get in bed with me. This morning (Friday), both did.

We start with a round of meds. Lasix and Aldactone to get rid of extra fluids, Zantac for stomach acid, and asprin to keep blood from clotting around his shunt. We do this twice a day.
Next up is the antibiotics (every 6 hours). We hook an iv pump to his pic line and run them for 30 minutes. With the flushes before and after, this takes about 45 minutes.

On Wednesday, Maddox's feeding tube was moved from his intestine to his stomach. We are now giving him bolous feedings every 2 hours. They take about 30 minutes. We were very happy to hear that he can stay on continuous feeds through the night until he begins feeding on demand. The red back pack holds his feeding pump and bag.

Now that he has food in his tummy, we get to do the baby spit up thing. Luckily it hasn't been as bad as I expected. But we do have to change clothes and blankets a couple of times a day. The next step will be bottle feeding. We have to take Maddox to a speech therapist before we can bottle feed him. When he swallow's the milk goes in the right place, but he really doesn't know what to do with the milk while it's in his mouth. It'll just take some time and practice.

Check out how nicely that scar is healing! It looks great, especially considering it had to be re-opened when he got the infection. The smaller scars on his belly are from the various drainage tubes he's had. Definitely has an outie belly button! (no thanks to the rt lines that were going in there for the first several weeks of life)In between all of Maddox's routines, I still have a vibrant 3 year old. Bailee is a wonderful big sister, and such a big helper. She has been so patient with all of the attention Maddox needs. She often will pull out a game to play or her newest love, polly pockets (thanks Tami and Tressa), and play while I'm taking care of Maddox.

Honestly, her new love is her Ballet outfit. She wears it constantly! Bailee gets to go to dance class once a week with her best friend McKinley. I'll have to get a picture of them together next time. So adorable!
It's a good thing Luke is such an amazing dad and husband! He has been so great about helping with all of Maddox's needs, playing with Bailee, and taking care of things around the house as well. I'm so grateful for all that he does!

Next post.....remember how we've been house hunting this summer?? We're about to seal the deal. Pics and the story coming soon.

We won!

(October 14, 2008)
We went to the KSL BYU coaches show again. Same as usual, EXCEPT this time I won something! (If only for a moment) I won a cool BYU flag in the drawing and Luke won a Number 15 jersey. I'd barely retrieved my prize when Bailee commandeered it. It now hangs in her perfectly pink bedroom. :)(She thought it was a picnic blanket!)

Onion Days...aka Labor Day

To start off our week of 'vacation', we went to Payson for the Onion Day's Parade. We were prepared for it to be chilly, but not quite prepared for it to be cold and wet.Morgan and Jilyan live right on the parade route, and close to the start, so we got front row seats.
Cute picture of Luke, but do you see those storm clouds?
Bailee liked picking up candy and putting it in her bag. Though, like the rest of the kids, she was fighting Luke for it. :)
Nicole and her kids and Jana and Joe and their girls also joined us for the weekend. It was fun to spend time with them all. We all crashed at Morgan and Jil's Sunday night. Cousin Brad came down Monday morning for the parade.
Bailee and Olivia waving at the Princess'


Next, Bailee saw some real horse's, she was so excited!

Is there really only 1 song you can play on the bag pipes, or do they all just sound alike to me? But seriously, look at those clouds rolling in!And then it rained on our parade. Luke got a bit crazy, I think some people thought he was drunk. Everyone who stayed out got soaked, Bailee and I were brave for a bit and then went in the house. Lucky for us, Jil has a big window that we could watch the rest of the parade on.
After the Parade we had a great bbq, an then everyone headed home. It was so fun to see you all this weekend. (and we missed those of you who couldn't make it.)

How Time Flies

I can't believe it's been 4 years! It's been a lot of fun, and we've had a lot of changes. Being married is better than I even imagined, and a lot different too. Adding Bailee has been one of the best things. It's so fun to work together teaching her and helping her, it brings us closer together. This is a layout I put together for my club last week. (Of course this is the un-finished version. Now it has journaling and a few more accents, but I haven't taken a picture yet.) I love seeing the changes through the past 4 years, and can't wait for the rest of forever. I love you Luke!

(It's a good thing I can post-date these things, I always mean to be on top of it.)

What we've been up to...

So I haven't posted in awhile, usually that results in phone calls and emails from my mom. She would be happy if I could post pictures every few minutes, just so she can keep up with Bailee. My little sister Tami has been here for a couple of weeks, and somehow the only pictures I got of her was at her last day of Basketball camp, and well...I think I've lost those. We really haven't done much of anything. By the time we're all ready to do something, it's time for lunch and naps. Then it seems when Bailee gets up it's time to make dinner. That's pretty normal for me, I'm used to it. Hopefully Tami hasn't been too bored.

We did get to go to Annie and Stretch's reception last week. It was beautiful! Luke thought we were never going to get there, but when we did, it was worth the drive. (We're so happy for you guys!)

Mostly we've played out side, run errands, and watched movies. Bailee's current favorite is Lady and the Tramp. I'm ready for her to pick a new favorite. :)

I really think that's about it. I can't believe the summer is almost over! I've been starting to think about Fall because the new Close To My Heart Fall/Winter Idea book will be arriving soon. I like to plan ahead, but I'm really not ready for summer to end! Though maybe some new fall product will get me in the mood to scrap last years fall pictures and move on from the millions of pool/water pictures I've been working with.

Bailee loves green beans! She ate almost the whole can by herself!

Bailee and Dad enjoying the splash pool. Bailee has such a fun daddy!

Strawberry Days Free Swim

We decided kind of last minute to go to the free swim at the PG pool. Alyssa and McKinley came with us. Bailee loves the pool, and she loved playing with Kinley and Lyssy.

She was also super excited that Daddy got to come. Bailee kept 'swimming' between us and loving every minute. She was sad when we said it was time to go home.

(I guess the draw back of a 'water proof' camera is the water spots on the lens. :) )

Oh look, a picture of me. That rarely happens. :) I could use a little more sun.

Cold Water

Bailee was happy to watch everyone else in the pool. I was thankful because that also meant I didn't have to be in the cold water.

Canyon was not having a good day, but isn't this a cute picture?

Sunny??? St. George....and I just realized this is post 100!

Well we arrived in St. George Friday afternoon to find it not very warm. Bailee and I tried to swim, but the water was just too cold for us. We hopped out and got dressed while Luke was brave and played in the pool.

The kids loved the cold, swampy hot tub. Unfortunately, I don't think it loved them back.

Doesn't that look fun? The boys were trying to jump onto this pool toy.