Before and After

I know I've mentioned the change in Maddox's color. I still can't believe the difference! It's such a blessing, and a miracle, that Maddox has pink skin and warm toes. Seriously something I'd taken for granted. This first picture is the night before his surgery, he was so blue/gray!

Right after surgery. I was prepared for him to look more like this. I thought he actually looked pretty darn good, and I noticed the color change immediately.

We of course had a wonderful nurse, Michelle, right after surgery. She kept making comments about being a model parent, and handling everything so well. It was embarrassing. Honestly, Maddox looked so much better after surgery than he ever had (even with the breathing tube) that I was just thrilled. I had such peace knowing that he was doing so well and feeling that relief of having surgery over. I couldn't help but smile.

But seriously??? Can you believe the difference? As much as we love blue in this family, we are so happy to have a PINK baby! I just can't get enough of the warm toes. I've probably kissed them more in the past 2 weeks than combined over the past 5 months.

Lights at Temple Square

While Maddox was in the hospital we had lots of help with Bailee. Grandma Bulkley, GiGi and Papa Washburn, and Grampy Spencer were all here to help. Bailee had so much fun, I'm not sure she noticed that I was gone. On Saturday night (Dec 12) GiGi, Papa and Grampy brought Bailee up to visit. She wasn't allowed in the hospital, but we wanted to do something fun with her.

There is a Trax stop right outside of PCMC, so we rode downtown and avoided the traffic/parking mess.  Bailee LOVED riding the train. We ate dinner and then headed to Temple Square to see the lights.

Bailee loved the lights. It was so fun to hear her OOOO and AHHHH over them. She also really loved seeing the different Nativity's. We sure wish Maddox could have been with us for this family picture!

 Bailee really had a fun time with GiGi, Papa, and Grampy. Thanks for taking care of her!

We couldn't have gone to a better place to feel the Spirit of Christmas. The lights were beautiful, but paled in comparison to the peace that I felt as I gazed at the Temple and then at the statue of our Savior. I know that our family is Forever because of the gift from our Savior and the ordinances provided in the Temple. I am so very grateful for the peace this knowledge has given me, especially in the trials of the past 6 months. God is so very good!

Have to try this recipe!

I just saw this recipe on Jeanette Lynton's blog. I haven't made it yet, but I can't wait too! It sounds so yummy!

Best Creamy Pasta Ever

Sauce
7 ½ tablespoons butter
5 tablespoons chopped garlic
3 ¾ tablespoons red wine vinegar
1 ¼ cup chicken broth
2 ½ tablespoons cornstarch
1 ¼ cup milk
2 ½ tablespoons dijon mustard
5 tsp. fresh rosemary
1 ¼ tsp. salt
1 ¼ tsp. fresh thyme
¾ tsp cayenne pepper

2 ½ cup parmesan cheese
2 cooked breast cut in bite size pieces
6 slices of bacon cooked cut in 1” pieces
17.5 oz. of dried penne pasta, cooked as directed on package

1. Melt butter and sweat garlic (don’t brown).
2. Dissolve cornstarch in small amount of chicken broth.
3. Add all sauce ingredients EXCEPT FOR CHEESE, stir with a whisk; and simmer about 10 minutes until thickened.
4. Stir in 2 ½ cup parmesan cheese,set aside.
5. Layer cooked pasta with chicken and bacon in casserole dish.
6. Spoon sauce over top.
7. Top with additional 1/4 c.parmesan cheese mixed with paprika (to add color).
8. Cook at 475 ̊F for around 10-15 minutes until bubbly.

Best Buddies

I was going to start the morning with grumpiness about mornings at the hospital. It's the hardest time to be here. Between feedings, Vital checks, blood draws, chest xrays and Dr.'s rounds (amoung other things) it seems that everytime Maddox falls asleep they're bugging him again. Even as I'm typing he's sleeping so peacefully and here comes Nurse to give him the morning meds. Not that I'm complaining (ok, well maybe a little) they do take really good care of him (and us) here. Mornings are just hard. So I was going to start with grumpiness and then I uploaded some pictures and got to looking through the adventures of the past couple of months. We've had some really great months.

Bailee and Maddox are best buddies and she is going to be SO EXCITED when we get home later today. She's been asking for Maddox to come home, and basically told us not to come home without him. She really loves him, and he loves her! We've done some video messages back and forth for the kids and they've both really liked that. It makes Bailee feel more involved and shows her how important she is to Maddox, and watching Bailee on the video makes Maddox smile and talk. Last week as I was showing him a video, he kept touching the screen. When I told Bailee about that she said "Was he trying to mess up my hair? He's so silly!"

A couple of weeks ago we took both kiddos to see Santa. It was nice to be out together, we really haven't done very much of that since Maddox was born. We've been so careful about where we take Maddox and who is near him. But I really wanted them to go see Santa together, and worried this would be the only chance. This is the first year that Bailee has been excited about Santa. Even though she was shy, she told him just what she wanted for Christmas. A pink scooter. I'm excited for the magic part of Christmas this year. Maddox didn't ask for anything, I wonder what he would say? A new heart? More time? Or maybe he has just what he needs, great care and a great family?

Bailee loves to play with Maddox. She wanted to get into Maddox's crib one afternoon and play with the mobil. Maddox loved it! He often lays on sister's bed and talks to her, but this is the first time she got in with him. He kept looking at her and smiling, kicking his legs and talking. So cute!

Bailee can't wait for Maddox to go to church with her. She loves to show him her pretty dresses, and he humors her with a smile.

This is their first bath together. What a briliant idea! I know, right? Also the last bath in the tub for Mad Dog for awhile. He wasn't loving it, and Bailee wanted her 'space' back. Oh well. They usually are all smiles and giggles when they're together.

A little gloomy

and the weather isn't helping.

I was really really really hoping to go home today. It feels like we've been here forever! And so far it's our shortest stay. It's hard to want to be here when Maddox looks so amazing! This morning was rough for us all though. Maddox was scheduled for a 7:30 am sedated echo. So he couldn't have any food after 2:30 and no clear liquids after 4:30. He woke up and ate at 12:30 and didn't wake up again until 5. Of course he was hungry and there wasn't anything I could do about it. There were a lot of tears and a lot of screaming. Poor baby! He's never loved the binki, and since surgery on Tuesday he hasn't wanted anything to do with it. I finally got him to suck on it a little, enough to settle down. Of course every time I got him settled and either sleeping or playing someone would come in and bug him. For REAL! So at 8 we still hadn't heard anything. I went to find out what was going on and the Dr.'s were making rounds. They had the nurses call to find out when we could come down (they had to do it in the CICU). When we finally got down there no one was prepared, they realized he needed a new IV, and everything was taking forever. They finally got started at 10! Needless to say, we had a very grumpy, very hungry little boy on our hands. After the echo we had to wait for sedation to wear off before we could start clear liquids. The little tough guy sucked down the Pedialite and went back to sleep. Poor thing! On the plus side, Maddox got to hang out with a favorite nurse, and a few other favorites stopped by to flirt.

Since we've been back to his room, he's been eating but not happy. Hoping that once all of the drugs get out of his system he'll feel better again.

It's crazy for me to think that he just had OPEN HEART SURGERY on Tuesday. For the 3rd time in 4 months. It was just 5 days ago, but I think it feels like forever because it's almost 'old hat' to be here. I can't believe how easy it was to slip back into the CICU routine and the hospital routine. At times it felt like we hadn't left. And then I remembered how wonderful it was to be home with him. All of us together. Soon. I know we have much to be grateful for, and we are. Still, long days like today are....well....long.