Maddox has been sick the past few days and I can't quite figure out what's wrong. No fever. Just a bit of a runny nose and a slight cough, but grumpy as all get out. Hard to know what hurts because he doesn't communicate that well. We had to keep him home from church today though, so Luke took Bailee and then will switch me before the 3rd hour.
I am teaching the Beehives now (12 and 13 year old girls) and loving it. I love working with the youth and was very excited to have this calling again. It is hard, and takes more preparation that teaching in Primary, but it's good for me. :) I had such great young women leaders that made (and continue to make) a difference in my life, I hope I can be that for these girls. It's fun getting to know the girls and the leaders, and the personal progress program is SO inspired, it's great to be working with that again.
My lesson today is about being happy and having joy now. What a great lesson for all of us. We are surrounded by so much good. So much beauty. So many wonderful people. Yeah, there's plenty of the opposite around too, but if we focus more on the wonderful, we can be happier and really enjoy our time now. There is this quote in the lesson: : “Happiness does not depend on what happens outside of you but on what happens inside of you” (“A Sure Trumpet Sound: Quotations from President Lee,” Ensign, Feb. 1974, p. 78). So true! Yet so hard to remember sometimes. Being happy is a personal choice. We can't control what happens around us, or even to us, but we can control how we react.
I needed this lesson this week. And every week. I have been stressing and worrying about the upcoming surgery, and I'm sure I will continue to do so, but I do need to focus more on today. And what I can actually control. That's not something I'm good at. I think because I'm such a 'planner', and I really feel like I have to know exactly what's going to happen. And this surgery has so many unknowns. I can't plan every detail or every minute. My control over the situation is limited to scheduling the appointments and handing my baby over to amazing doctors and nurses who will take the best care they possibly can. I have said that I know when we get there, in the moment, I will be fine. I handle the stressful situations well. It's not until the 'crisis' is over that I panic. Or in this case, leading up to the surgery. This is exactly why I was actually glad I didn't know about Maddox's heart while I was pregnant. Anyways, I guess that I need to dig a little deeper and focus on what's happening right now and not think so much about June.
So that's my goal this week. I hope that my 'stressing' posts don't come across as ungrateful or whining. I do know how blessed I am. And my family is. And that even though Maddox only has half of a heart....it could be so much worse. Comparatively speaking, we've had an easy 'heart' journey. I've seen families deal with much harder things, and much easier things. It makes me grateful for where we are at.
"This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now.
The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief.
Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest
lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that
help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you
not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that
illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want
to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now.
Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey,
and share our love with friends and family. One day each of us will run out of
tomorrows.
Despite the changes which come into our lives and with gratitude
in our hearts, may we fill our days—as much as we can—with those things which
matter most. May we cherish those we hold dear and express our love to them in
word and indeed."
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